Vague to Vogue: Dear little Madison Clair...

My darling little Madison Clair,

First, please pull your ever growing, wavy brown hair from your face. You will come to realize that people can still see you even though you think you're hiding. Secondly, look up, you are missing so much of what's around you because you like to watch your feet walk, you will end up walking into a lamp-post, sorry to tell you sweetheart but this happens and it hurts.There we go. Now we can start. You are scared, you have always thought about your future and I'm here at 21 to tell you, its all going to be fine. Its a bumpy ride but you feel and learn so much. This is hard for me to tell you but mom and dad don't stay together like in the fairy tales they fell out of love but in no way is it your fault or our siblings, it will be a horrible few years ahead but don't take sides and spend time with them both.

They love you.

Speak up when you go secondary school, your so quiet in the beginning. You're scared you wont make friends, you do and their wonderful. They show you your inner (and very much goth-ier self) you develop a passion for music and going to gigs because of these wonderful girls. Dad wont approve of how you dress, which will be A LOT of black, mom will wonder where her shy little girls gone but stick with it. My advice though, don't go over board with the white makeup and black eye-shadow You will face so many people who will be nasty about how you dress, even to the extent of physical fights but you must walk away from it and if you can't,

please fight back. Don't stand and take it.

Now were getting into your teen years, your going to cut your hair, short, mom goes mental but you feel amazing about it. You will dye it too. A lot.You will meet one boy, who defines your teen years. He will cause you so much heartbreak and the world will feel like its coming to an end. Its really not. Just stick with your friends, they were there through it all, just make sure you thank them because i don't think i did. After all this boy drama you will carry on through school and onto sixth form. Please try and do your best in school, i know its boring but you will need all these silly qualifications later on.

During your sixth form years and after, dad will get very sick, there's nothing you can do about it, sorry little one, my advice is to ask him to go the doctors sooner and pester him to stop smoking. Oddly though it brings him and mom together again, briefly. You see him change, physically and mentally. Just hold his hand through it, i know he doesn't show it a lot at this point but he's grateful.

Now this is even harder to tell you, mom gets sick too. Its okay though because she is tough. You know this because at this point you will be tough too. She will need you though, she won't say she will but she will. She has an incredible journey through it and just as it seems like its getting worse, it does get better, she still smiles. It seems so unfair that they both get poorly but don't worry little one, they are both still here today. It will help you to grow and see some perspective on the world but don't let it dampen it.

This is the bit where i should tell you, you must go to university and get that degree you so want right now but don't. Move to Leicester with your best friend Steph. You will meet the most incredible group of friends. They are all so different, just like you. These are the people you need to keep in your life, they will be your rock. This is where all the possible life lessons you will learn happens. Some are good, some aren't so good. You will face a very dark year but there is nothing you can do to help this, it brings you and all our friends together. You will miss her but just treasure that time together. You will also meet someone very special, he is literally you, in male form. He's amazing Mads, you just don't tell him enough. All these people are around right now and you'll be 21 (nearly 22). Life's not perfect right now but the people around are. You need to tell them more how great they are, start alphabetically if you have to, just get it done.

So to sum up this incredibly long letter to you. You need to look around more otherwise you'll miss it. Stand up for yourself. Let yourself fall for people and let them hurt you. If you don't you won't be as tough as i am. Don't blame yourself for the events that unravel which will be out of your hands. Draw more, create more and sew more. Maybe find Joe and your friend sooner than the age of 19. You now love anything from the 50's so get collecting. Smile little one, its a lot to take on but you give yourself such a hard time.

You are brave, special and you are me.